We sat in the far left corner of the balcony and tried to remain inconspicuous, which was a bunch of rot because I forgot my bow tie. I’d forgotten my blazer and button up too. I was sitting in a curved pew wearing the same blue shirt I’d worn since Friday, a pair of green pants, my devil may care impish grin. I bought the blue shirt 3 for $10 at Wal-Mart. I inherited the green pants or stole them outright somewhere along the way. I’ve just always had the impish grin, and I wear it often. The lazy Sunday afternoon brought on Sunday evening too quickly, and we, this gorgeous woman and I, had scrambled to the closest 6 o’clock service we could find downtown. We walked in and stood through hymn number 123 in the pew hymnal which ended in an extended plagal cadence, “Aaaaaaaaaaammemamemamemeeen….” Then a baby-faced large man in a black robe stood behind the lectern and told us to sit. We sat.
The baby-faced large man gave a very serious presentation of announcements. He told us about the new members class which was a good time to learn about this place, and to get to know about this place, and about the Lord, and his ways, and the church that we were sitting in, and the members of that church, and what they believed, and the message that they believed, and that it was a good thing to believe, and to confess, and that they did confess what was their confession which was the meaning, and the purpose of their meeting, for the edification of the spirit, and the worship of God, God who was our Father, and the Spirit, and the Son Jesus Christ our Lord, and about the ice cream social which would be held after the service to the glory of God, and about his request for peach ice cream, and that we would find out if anyone was listening to announcements last week based on the presence or absence of peach ice cream at the ice cream social. He was adorable.
After a few more invocations from the baby-faced large man, a young beautiful couple tried to move from their seats to the center of choir stall without being noticed by anyone, as if they could make themselves quiet enough or small enough to avoid being seen by the congregation until they were standing at the center of the choir stall. This struck me as irrational, and I giggled. Catholic churches do processions better than protestant churches. Teleportation is a protestant idea. The gorgeous woman looked a question at me. I shrugged. Then the beautiful young couple began to sing a hymn. The young lady in the couple had a well developed voice. She sang the hymn like it was an aria. Her clean looking husband tried to keep up by singing a thin sounding tenor with a forced vibrato that made him sound like a sophisticated goat that could match pitch. Oh, but her voice was beautiful, and nobody really minded her husband’s goat singing.
It was during this aria duet rendition of a hymn that I noticed the stain glass windows. They were massive, and I could only see the one behind the choir stall and the one on the right wall of the sanctuary. We sat too close to the left side of the balcony to see the stained glass window on the left side of the sanctuary. The window beyond the lectern, and the choir stall was over 30 feet tall and almost as wide. It was made of six different panes, five along the bottom and one more triangular piece on top. The whole thing formed a pointed arch. The window showed the apostles bathed in light as they looked up to see the ascension of the Lord Jesus Christ. I looked at the window as the young bride’s voice soared through the sanctuary, and I thought how nice it was to see the Lord Jesus Christ ascending, instead of hanging on a cross. I thought it was a fitting focal point for the room, and its message was strong. I felt it a little. Then I looked at it again, and I was afraid. This was a massive work of art, and its message was fanatical. A person would have to be mad to believe a man floated away to the right hand of God.
I looked away from the front of the sanctuary to the right. The window there was formed similarly with the five panes of glass fitted with at top piece. The first pane of the window had the Greek symbol, “A.” The second pane held the cross and crown. The third pane connected one image to the top pane and presented an image of Christ teaching with the words, “Come unto me, all ye who labor” written across his chest. The fourth pane of stained glass held the image of a goblet or maybe it was a communion cup. The fifth pane of glass held the Greek symbol, “Ω.” I stared at all of this and held hands with the gorgeous woman. I thought of how tired I was, I put my arm around her shoulders.
The congregation then sang from the Psalter Psalm 32 which begins, “O blessed is the man to whom is freely pardoned, All the transgression he hath done, whose sin is covered,” and ended in a long plagal cadence “Aaaaaaaahhhaaameeeeeeeeeeeeen.” By the end of the psalm, I felt awful. I felt so tired I could sleep.
That is when and old man in a nice suit walked to the lectern, bowed his head, and began to pray...
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